Final Round of Treatment

Let me start by apologising for how long it's taken me to type up this blog post! 

I guess I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that, after 15 months of being in and out of hospital every few weeks, Cameron has completed his final inpatient treatment.  It's bizarre! It's surreal!  It's completely terrifying!

Cameron's fifth round of treatment was a difficult one, certainly not the worst we have experienced, but he had a lot of pain and he threw up several times - which was unusual.  I felt like we were going through chemotherapy all over again with the amount of yukky laundry that I had to do!  Despite the pain, nausea and the fact that he required oxygen again - he pushed through it and was able to complete his treatment, becoming the first child in Atlanta to receive a full dose of Antibody Therapy at the fastest rate.  Quite an achievement, I am so incredibly proud of him - his strength and tenacity is awe-inspiring to Frank and I.

Our final day in the hospital was an extremely emotional one for me.  People kept asking me if I was excited that Cameron's treatment was over, and every time they asked, I burst into tears.  Those of you that know me, know that I don't cry easily.  I try to keep my emotions in check, especially around Cameron and James, but I just couldn't control it that day.  The truth is that, of course I am thrilled that my baby won't have to go through the terrible suffering that these treatments cause him, I'm ecstatic that he has been able to get all of his treatment with minimal complications, but at the same time there is the overwhelming fear that this horrendous disease could come back.  The thought of not actively fighting this cancer, just sitting around waiting for Cameron to be scanned every 3 months, waiting to hear if my beautiful boy has relapsed, fills me with absolute terror and dread.  So no, I really wasn't excited that his treatment was complete, if it were up to me I would give him chemotherapy once a month, forever - just to keep this cancer away from my child.

A couple of days after Cameron came home from hospital, he went back in to have his CVL (Central Venous Line) removed.  Now that's something that I definitely won't miss!  Cameron has been very fortunate that he has only ever had one central line, it's very common in children - especially of this age - that the line has to be replaced at least once.  The lines get infected or the kids pull them out or damage them and they need to be replaced, but for some reason we got lucky and Cameron had the same one for his entire treatment.  Of course, the fact that he had had the same one for so long, meant that all of the original sutures/stitches had come loose and there was nothing holding it in place.  A firm tug and that line would have been out.  Nerve wracking when you have a very active 3 year old and his inquisitive twin.  I am still not used to the fact that it's not there anymore - I still feel for it when I pick him up and I still worry about it, for a split second, anytime he climbs anything or falls over.  When I ask Cameron where his "tubes" are, he still points to his chest, when I tell him that they are not there anymore, he looks at me like I have lost my mind!

Cameron will go in for scans in early January.  In the mean time we are  adjusting to being a "normal" family.  We will put our Christmas tree up this weekend and have Santa photos taken (without a hospital backdrop), we will decorate gingerbread houses and start our family Christmas traditions, we will start potty training, and most importantly, we will make the most of every second that we are home together as a family!